... had horrible acting
... had campy dialogue
... had near-non-existent character development (including the Transformers)
... had a sketchy, disjointed plotline like the first movie
... had too much comic relief (but at least a better attempt than the first)
... overplayed the sex appeal card
The movie was essentially nothing but two and a half hours of CGI robots bashing the shit through each other in utterly confusing fight scenes.
And I loved every single freaking minute of it. :)
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
No KFC Noooo!!
So a couple of years ago, perhaps over a decade, every kid in the western world decides to fatten up like oompaloopas and all of a sudden we have an obesity pandemic. Problem at hand needs solving and being humans, we like to take the easiest way out. Bugger the effort of exercising. Let's just blame someone!
The first in line to suffer the wrath of bubble-wrap politics were fast-food restaurants. Fair enough too, for walking into a McDonald's used to automatically equate to an extra five minutes of your life lost. However, under immense pressure from health experts, family groups, and cows, McDonald's changed its ways. Healthy was the new cool, and ordering an apple from Maccas became the new thing. It's a pity that people who do order this said apple are met with glares of bemusement and genuine calls of "wtf?!". The 6 year old kid working the counter obviously has no idea what an apple is judging by his face. "App...Appel?"
Anyway, all of society's other notoriously unhealthy, saturated-fat havens caved in likewise. Except for one.
KFC ... Mmmmmm. All-star boxes and ultimate burger meals would remain soaked in sodium and drenched in palm oil. "Bugger what the others say! We're keeping our recipe the same. If you die of heart failure it's your own damn fault!" And that was quite a real prospect too, since consuming palm oil is the equivalent of clamping your main artery at three different points with metal clothes pegs.
But alas, those days are over since KFC (in Australia) have finally buckled, and will now use healthy oil. No palm oil?! Palm oil was the secret recipe Colonel Sanders conjured up when he wasn't funding the KKK (probably a rumour but eh ...). Not only that, but there's now going to be less salt!
I used to love you KFC .... *sniff*
The first in line to suffer the wrath of bubble-wrap politics were fast-food restaurants. Fair enough too, for walking into a McDonald's used to automatically equate to an extra five minutes of your life lost. However, under immense pressure from health experts, family groups, and cows, McDonald's changed its ways. Healthy was the new cool, and ordering an apple from Maccas became the new thing. It's a pity that people who do order this said apple are met with glares of bemusement and genuine calls of "wtf?!". The 6 year old kid working the counter obviously has no idea what an apple is judging by his face. "App...Appel?"
Anyway, all of society's other notoriously unhealthy, saturated-fat havens caved in likewise. Except for one.
KFC ... Mmmmmm. All-star boxes and ultimate burger meals would remain soaked in sodium and drenched in palm oil. "Bugger what the others say! We're keeping our recipe the same. If you die of heart failure it's your own damn fault!" And that was quite a real prospect too, since consuming palm oil is the equivalent of clamping your main artery at three different points with metal clothes pegs.
But alas, those days are over since KFC (in Australia) have finally buckled, and will now use healthy oil. No palm oil?! Palm oil was the secret recipe Colonel Sanders conjured up when he wasn't funding the KKK (probably a rumour but eh ...). Not only that, but there's now going to be less salt!
I used to love you KFC .... *sniff*
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Supermarket fuel vouchers
You step into the supermarket with a few coins and the intention of buying a cold drink. It's a pretty simple task, which should take just a few minutes. Unfortunately, supermarkets are bastards at tempting you. When you step inside, you're bombarded with specials and hot deals at every turn. Buy two chocolate bars and save 50 cents. Take a dollar off these freshly made bread rolls which expired yesterday. Buy one and get one free whole energy drink and you don't have to sleep tonight. Buy this beef we overweighed, and you can take this free recipe so you can impress your girlfriend and hide the fact that your only culinary skill involves a microwave, and a fork.
Perhaps the most cunning little supermarket trick is the fuel voucher. The golden number is thirty. Thirty bucks spent and you're on your way to petrol savings heaven! Four cents a litre off your next fill-up? Yes please! You'll save a good dollar or two at your next trip to the pump, and as daddy first taught you when a five cent coin first felt like a pot of leprechaun gold, it all adds up.
There is one problem however. When you go into the supermarket with that one single drink in mind, you end up buying all this other stuff. So you buy an extra thing or two and now the supermarket run will cost you about $10. No matter, you have a credit card to make up for the feeble few coins you have in your pocket. But oh no, cheap Berocca ... and cheap baked beans. Now the cost balloons up to $24. But that's ok because the stuff that you're buying is stuff that you need. If you don't buy it now then you'll just end up getting it some other time.
Now the real problem starts. $24?! Oh man, I'm so close to that $30 mark. I just have to get that voucher. So now you find yourself going up and down each aisle looking for useless crap to make up the remaining six bucks. You find things that are totally unnecessary and you try to justify its necessity and/or usefulness.
Hey, this chocolate milk is on special, and I need calcium. Who cares if it expires today? I can drink the whole two litres in the next minute, fill up on a week's worth of calcium and save a few cents on my petrol! Mmmm my bones feel stronger just thinking about it.
The really silly part of it is when you're lining up to pay for the petrol a few days later. You hand over that fuel voucher to the overworked store attendant, and you read the receipt given back to you that shows the enormous saving of $1.64.
And you actually believe that you've saved money from the whole exercise.
Perhaps the most cunning little supermarket trick is the fuel voucher. The golden number is thirty. Thirty bucks spent and you're on your way to petrol savings heaven! Four cents a litre off your next fill-up? Yes please! You'll save a good dollar or two at your next trip to the pump, and as daddy first taught you when a five cent coin first felt like a pot of leprechaun gold, it all adds up.
There is one problem however. When you go into the supermarket with that one single drink in mind, you end up buying all this other stuff. So you buy an extra thing or two and now the supermarket run will cost you about $10. No matter, you have a credit card to make up for the feeble few coins you have in your pocket. But oh no, cheap Berocca ... and cheap baked beans. Now the cost balloons up to $24. But that's ok because the stuff that you're buying is stuff that you need. If you don't buy it now then you'll just end up getting it some other time.
Now the real problem starts. $24?! Oh man, I'm so close to that $30 mark. I just have to get that voucher. So now you find yourself going up and down each aisle looking for useless crap to make up the remaining six bucks. You find things that are totally unnecessary and you try to justify its necessity and/or usefulness.
Hey, this chocolate milk is on special, and I need calcium. Who cares if it expires today? I can drink the whole two litres in the next minute, fill up on a week's worth of calcium and save a few cents on my petrol! Mmmm my bones feel stronger just thinking about it.
The really silly part of it is when you're lining up to pay for the petrol a few days later. You hand over that fuel voucher to the overworked store attendant, and you read the receipt given back to you that shows the enormous saving of $1.64.
And you actually believe that you've saved money from the whole exercise.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Winter camping
Two schools of thought fuel the desire to go camping. There is the 'going back to basics' idea that is deeply flawed since setting up a tent requires a postgraduate university degree. Gone are the days of a pole, some pegs and a piece of cloth you cut out from your spare room curtain. Now there are awnings, waterproof shells that cannot touch the inner shell and voyeur peek holes. Then there is the 'going outdoors' notion that is silly, since setting up the aforementioned tent provides a makeshift 'indoors' that contradicts the whole point of the exercise. You essentially leave the indoors to become one with the outdoors by making a fake indoors to which you still think you are outdoors. Confused? Good.
The really adventurous souls are the ones that decide to camp it out in the cold of winter. It is essentially the substitution of warm blankets, lamb roast, and Friday night football on the TV for stiff, hard nipples, perpetually moist buttocks, and influenza. It is a substitution that is, despite sane logic, quite appealing.
There will always be the healthy chunk of the population that make the pilgrimage to camp insane-o at some point in the winter. The ones with the marbles still present will drive their car and pitch tent just outside, using General Motors as emergency warmth and shelter. The ones with an undiscovered brain aneurysm will hardcore it up and go overnight hiking, pitching their tent in 3 degrees darkness after refusing to stop while the sun is still up. Of course, these are the people that Bear Grylls wholeheartedly applauds.
What both groups have in common, besides being likely fans of this show, is that unexplainable urge to forego all things comfortable, and make life as freaking miserable for themselves as possible for a few days. Of course, you could just sit through a couple of Grey's Anatomy DVDs and that would achieve the same result.
Wilsons Prom was awesome!
The really adventurous souls are the ones that decide to camp it out in the cold of winter. It is essentially the substitution of warm blankets, lamb roast, and Friday night football on the TV for stiff, hard nipples, perpetually moist buttocks, and influenza. It is a substitution that is, despite sane logic, quite appealing.
There will always be the healthy chunk of the population that make the pilgrimage to camp insane-o at some point in the winter. The ones with the marbles still present will drive their car and pitch tent just outside, using General Motors as emergency warmth and shelter. The ones with an undiscovered brain aneurysm will hardcore it up and go overnight hiking, pitching their tent in 3 degrees darkness after refusing to stop while the sun is still up. Of course, these are the people that Bear Grylls wholeheartedly applauds.
What both groups have in common, besides being likely fans of this show, is that unexplainable urge to forego all things comfortable, and make life as freaking miserable for themselves as possible for a few days. Of course, you could just sit through a couple of Grey's Anatomy DVDs and that would achieve the same result.
Wilsons Prom was awesome!
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Checklist for the weekend shenanigans
Energy drink to last 3 hour drive at night after full work day - check
2,356,323 layers of clothes - check
Alcohol to warm the body up even though it does the exact opposite - check
Watch a few Man vs Wild clips - check
Switch sanity off - check
2,356,323 layers of clothes - check
Alcohol to warm the body up even though it does the exact opposite - check
Watch a few Man vs Wild clips - check
Switch sanity off - check
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)