An "OSCE" is a fancy way of saying a "clinical exam" to those of you who are wondering... and that's directed to the med students, too. If you are one of them, and you still haven't realised this ... good luck. You'll need it.
Three and a half years ago as I fudged my way through my final physio clinical exam, I promised myself I would never go through another one of these ever again. Well, that worked out well didn't it...
Anyway, I see people starting to freak out about the OSCEs. I've picked up the odd tip and hint along the way, and it's only fair that I share them:
- When you feel like you're running out of time, and your eight minutes is almost up, you've probably still got seven and a half minutes left.
- If you are unsure as to how to do that particular knee test, just make something up, and explain that it is "a variation of that test" ... Chances are, it probably is.
- When assessing the sim patient's gait, look at their legs. Assessing someone's ability to walk by looking at their face is akin to a deaf person reviewing a rock concert.
- When getting someone to stand on one leg or close their eyes with their feet together, make sure you are standing close enough to catch them. No one likes a patient that has fallen down. It usually ends up with an unnecessary hip operation, an angry patient, and a court hearing.
- Saying "good" or "awesome" as a filling-in response when the patient says "my dad died of cancer" doesn't really make you look compassionate.
- If you haven't washed your hands in the last 30 seconds, it's time to do it again.
- Asking the patient to take off their pants without explaining to them why they need to is slightly awkward, and probably sexually unwanted.
- The sim patient will be wearing a fake arm. The needle goes here.
- The rubbish bin is usually a plastic bag. The needle does not go here.
- If you are asked to do an MMSE, the sim patient will probably pretend to act agitated and aggressive. If he/she decides to pull out a knife on you, stop and call for help. Continuing with the MMSE usually ends up in murder. No one likes a dead med student. It gets messy.
- If you can't elicit a reflex, just say "there is no evidence of an increased reflex". It's a bit like saying the food is "caramelised" rather than "burnt"
- Bring a watch that can keep track of the seconds for when you measure heart rates. Counting to thirty in your head is not really reliable, unless you are an actual clock.
- You can fake your way through using an opthalmoscope. Just learn how to turn it on ... that bit you can't fake.
- An otoscope is for the ear, not the eye.
If you are freaking out, take a deep breath, and calm down. You know your stuff, so don't panic. You're not going to be perfect, and you'll probably forget things or make one or two mistakes. Everyone will. I plan on making three per station. You'll still pass. Remember, you're the one in charge, not the examiner or the patient. You have the control. You're the boss. Walk into the room and be one. Destroy that station.
