My Baby! My poor Babyyyyyyyy!

Well, the car has been sent from the Mt. Waverley centre to the Altona Centre. And, according to the dude at AAMI, the Altona centre is the automobile equivalent of Dr Nitschke's Euthanasia clinic. All cars that are deemed to be a probable write-off after assessment are sent to Altona for a secondary assessment to ensure that it really is unsalvageable. And statistically speaking, if your car is sent there, 90% of the time they will scrap it.

The official word won't come until at least Monday. Looks like my poor baby will die the slow death like the unfortunate kangaroo that hit it. :(

Vote 1 for Kangaroo Meat

If I tell this story one more time to someone, even I would call myself an attention seeker that's just trying to score empathy votes from as many people as possible. So instead of repeating the same old stuff, let me put it in a different way. Hence I present to you...

Terence's Guide to Losing $2500...Guaranteed!

Step 1: Have multiple claims made to your car insurance company over previous years to ensure skyrocketing prices for your annual premiums.

Step 2: Instead of fork out the $1500 or so premium, take the option (and by option I mean "gamble") to pay a ridiculously high excess fee should an accident ever happen, in order to cut the annual premium in half.

Step 3: Drive along Churchill Park Dve around the late afternoon/early evening time when the sun is going down. Telepathically will a large kangaroo to hop out onto the road right in front of your car from behind a large bush/shrub so that you have no time to brake or swerve. Ensure you are driving at 70km/h to maximise impact and damage to the car. Results are best given when your entire left-front is shot to pieces and your windshield is caved in.

Step 4: Ensure you survive so you can experience your new found loss of financial health. Having an intact windshield to prevent a flying kangaroo from entering the car and decapitating your head is recommended.

Step 5: After towage is complete, liaise with insurance company to determine that you have three excesses to pay. 1) The $500 standard excess, 2) the $400 "you're under 25 years old so you must be a shit driver" excess, and 3) the aforementioned "gamble" excess fee of $1550. Get a calculator and total the fee to which it will be $2450.

Step 6: Curse that f&#king kangaroo.

Looks like I'll be putting off that computer for a bit. And my monthly paycheck for this April will now be known as the "insurance paycheck". Oh well, money aside, I'm still alive which is all that matters as they say. I went through that whole shock phase of sitting in your car for a good 60 seconds trying to fathom what the F*$K just happened, and I'm over the "thank God I'm still alive" phase. Now I'm just into the pissed off "bloody hell this is going to cost me an arm and a leg, why do I have such shit luck with cars?! *whinge whinge whinge*" stage

A couple of thoughts:
- Gotta love the hippie-looking couple that checked on the kangaroo before me. Way to prioritise guys! And no I didn't kill a tree too.
- Any second later and the kangaroo would've directly hit the side of my car. With me going at 60-70km/h......
- Had I been going at the speed limit (as opposed to being going 10 under due to traffic) I would've been long ahead before the kangaroo hopped onto the road to hit me. And they say speed is supposed to bad...
- Fark, how scary was that?!
- Watching a dying kangaroo die a slow and painful death is not fun :(

I'll find out tomorrow whether or not the car is a write off. I hope not. One, because I love my car! and two, despite being two and a half grand out of pocket no matter what happens now, the new car that I can buy with the money left over will be shite...at least not as good as the '96 Lancer I had.

Wait and see... Either way, here comes at least two weeks of juggling cars with the rest of the family.

Madness?! This...is.....SPARTAAAAA!!! *front kick some dude into bottomless pit*

Hooray for the power of coincidence in giving me - the monitor-less one - a free computer monitor from one of Dad's clients who wanted to throw it away despite it not ever being used!

One of the most frustrating things one can endure is to feel tired and sluggish throughout the entire day, but when it comes to bedtime, the body refuses to shut down. Argh! And it doesn't help that I have to be up in less than six hours. Oh well, instead of lie there I figured I'd get up, have a drink (juice, not alcohol...I'm not an alco) and write some sort of crap in this thing.

The week so far has been pretty boring. Nothing special... and quiet at work. Went and saw 300 the other day. Fantastic movie but only if you're of the ike that lusts for copious amounts of Hollywood blood, and hence don't mind senseless violence. As one reviewer wrote which I randomly read at work the other day "300 is rated R for 'RAAAAAR!!'" If you're looking for plot, don't expect much. The story which most of you would know is based on an actual historical battle goes something like this: (and if you haven't seen the movie and don't want it to be spoilt, believe me, there's not much in the plot that can be given away)

- Persians threaten Sparta (and the rest of Greece)
- Spartan king is pissed off
- 300 uber Spartan warriors led by the king take the Persian army to Paintown
- Blood is generously spilt throughout the movie

I'm gonna have to buy the DVD and tally up the number of confirmed kills in the movie just as Julius and I did for the Rambo trilogy. I suspect this movie will hold the new record. This is the ultimate movie that doesn't require thinking. Simple story with plenty of 'don't ask questions, just kill something' action, and perhaps one of the coolest quotes in cinema lately. Can't wait for the DVD so I can repeatedly watch the battle scenes over and over again...I won't have to fast forward much. :)

Time for bed, take two.

Dead computer

Woo! My computer has officially died. Well, the screen has at least. The computer itself is currently the electronical equivalent of an old lady who has had thirteen surgeries done, and is now in intensive care hooked up to 15 drips and drains and requiring three nurses alone to maintain what little life is left. I'm in the process of finding a new computer and I've thought to myself, you know what? I've suffered on Windows 98 for the past 6-7 years...I've had to put up with not watching half the stuff that's available on the net. I'm gonna go get myself a beast of a computer. Granted my ever-fluctuating bank account is not pleased (just paid the Government back the bloody GST the other day...not happy). So in my computerlessness I've had to leech off my dad's computer which he doesn't use for his work about 18 minutes out of a 24 hour day. Or, of course, I get to use the one at work, which is pretty shoddy.

I have no idea where I'm going with this one.

Oh, some of you may know that I have NO intention of EVER owning a MySpace out of principle. 'But you have a blog you double-standard setting Asian man!', I hear you say? Yes, but you see, whereas the purpose of my blog is to show off my extremely uninteresting life despite having very anti-voyeuristic principles, MySpace is nothing but a glorified way of showing off how many friends you have. The more friends people see that you have, the better looking you are. It's simple physics.

Having said all that though, I have a facebook which I signed up to a while ago out of a need to quench my horrible thirst for something to do but then sorta neglected. But in my recent run of large breaks at work, I've been rummaging around it and you know what? Despite MySpace having the capacity to stick videos and stuff on it, Facebook shits all over it. It's just more fun than a MySpace, especially if you're a photos whore.

Unfortunately though, by having the same friends mechanism that MySpace has, a Facebook practically forces me to rape and pillage those aforementioned principles....Let it be known though, that I don't use it TO SHOW OFF HOW MANY FRIENDS I have...

But go ahead and be my friend :)

And I still refuse to use MySpace >:(

The Sounds of Springvale

SPRINGVALE! Some say it is full of drug addicts, others say vampires come out at night to steal the non-Asian babies. Whatever the stigma surrounding the infamous suburb, events of last night didn't help to extinguish these perceptions to those who were there to witness it. I speak of a night out at a restaurant with my family and brother's girlfriend. 'Twas a good dinner. Decent crab and crownies for only $4!! But the night ended on quite a sour note, and one which goes to show you that drinking yourself to kingdom come at a pub/club/bar is one thing, but doing it at a family restaurant is practically criminal.

They say Asians can't hold their drink (except my brother and myself...although these days I can't drink as much as I used to...I'm getting old). Last night only served to demonstrate this. To cut to the chase, what happened was a direct result of two large Asian families (one Chinese and one Vietnamese I think) and lots of alcohol...I'm talking about plastic bags full of bottles, and drinking scotch out of glasses usually used for wine. One by one, dish by dish, they all got louder and louder. At some point near the end of the night as we were having our dessert, one of the men from (I think the) Viet family started getting touchy with another random guy. I had my back turned so I wasn't too sure about what happened. The Viet family started to leave, the women of the party obviously realising it was time to shut up shop. Unfortunately though, they had to pass the other big drunk Asian family in question. Something was said by a man from this family to the original Viet dude, something like "why did you (something) my son twice?!", we think in relation to something that happened earlier in the night.

From here, things escalated like crazy. A quick shove was met with a retaliatory punch and before long the men of both families were at it or at least trying to hold each other back, right in the centre of the crowded restaurant. There was one thing that absolutely blew my mind away. One man walked straight into the scuffle, his arm wound up, and he unleashed the biggest haymaker I've ever seen in real life on the unsuspecting dude that had his face turned the other way. I don't know what was more astounding - seeing that fist connect with the other guy's face or hearing it crunch against the bone...it was almost like hearing a sound effect from a movie, I kid you not! As a result there was a red and bloodied white tablecloth where it happened.

I've seen a few full-on brawls before, as I'm sure most people have. But what made this one a little scarier was the proximity. Our table was unfortunately backed up to a wall, right between the tables of the two families in question and as the fight broke out literally a metre or two away from us, we had no choice but to stay put instead of flee. Mum and Dad's friends who, by pure coincidence were also there that night had it worse. By even purer coincidence, they were at the table next to us. And by even more purer coincidence, their's was the table that ended up bloodied. But thankfully they managed to scamper away at the last second. As for us, Julius and I shoved Mum and Sam (Julius' gf) behind us like the protective men of the group we are :P (I'm sure Dad would've done the same but he was stuck at the very back hehe). You should've seen me. I was all Jet Li on their arses...well not really. My first instinct was to grap my bottle of beer a) to use as a potential weapon and b) so I could save the rest of the beer left in there...and not necessarily in that order. :P

Eventually it died down and we spilled out into the street. But just as it seemed to be over, one man walks right up to another, wine bottle in hand, and proceeds to bludgeon him over the back of the head with it. Once again, for some reason my family just had to be the one coincidentally right next to it as it happened... seriously, bad positioning and bad timing by our part last night. So proceeded act two of the show, an act that ended with the arrival of the police.

So there you go. Dinner and a show. What was funny about it was the looks of the faces on the staff. I did not see one astounded face at all! It was almost as if this sort of thing occurs on a weekly basis. The chef/cook at the front of the restaurant cutting the duck didn't look up at all. He just happily kept cutting the duck with his cleaver...but then again, he probably realised Meh I have a freakin' butcher's cleaver so if they mess with me they're fucked.

Though I really shouldn't be making humour out of it. It was indeed quite sad. Sad because we aren't talking about two gangs fighting, but rather grown adult men. Sad because it was a family restaurant with families around. Sad because people ended up fleeing the restaurant without paying, although some families went back later to pay which was good of them. Sad because, inbetween trying to hold their respective husbands back, even the women ended up fighting each other, albeit more verbally than with flying fists.

But what was saddest of all, was that both families had children. And I'm talking about babies and kids barely old enough to be at school. Two, maybe three of the kids were bawling their eyes out as the fight happened in the restaurant. One boy was stuck in the corner by himself, with no one attending to him for a minute. Of all the crimes you could commit to your children or grandchildren... engaging in a bloody, drunken, and public fight in front of their eyes........