If I tell this story one more time to someone, even I would call myself an attention seeker that's just trying to score empathy votes from as many people as possible. So instead of repeating the same old stuff, let me put it in a different way. Hence I present to you...
Terence's Guide to Losing $2500...Guaranteed!
Step 1: Have multiple claims made to your car insurance company over previous years to ensure skyrocketing prices for your annual premiums.
Step 2: Instead of fork out the $1500 or so premium, take the option (and by option I mean "gamble") to pay a ridiculously high excess fee should an accident ever happen, in order to cut the annual premium in half.
Step 3: Drive along Churchill Park Dve around the late afternoon/early evening time when the sun is going down. Telepathically will a large kangaroo to hop out onto the road right in front of your car from behind a large bush/shrub so that you have no time to brake or swerve. Ensure you are driving at 70km/h to maximise impact and damage to the car. Results are best given when your entire left-front is shot to pieces and your windshield is caved in.
Step 4: Ensure you survive so you can experience your new found loss of financial health. Having an intact windshield to prevent a flying kangaroo from entering the car and decapitating your head is recommended.
Step 5: After towage is complete, liaise with insurance company to determine that you have three excesses to pay. 1) The $500 standard excess, 2) the $400 "you're under 25 years old so you must be a shit driver" excess, and 3) the aforementioned "gamble" excess fee of $1550. Get a calculator and total the fee to which it will be $2450.
Step 6: Curse that f&#king kangaroo.
Looks like I'll be putting off that computer for a bit. And my monthly paycheck for this April will now be known as the "insurance paycheck". Oh well, money aside, I'm still alive which is all that matters as they say. I went through that whole shock phase of sitting in your car for a good 60 seconds trying to fathom what the F*$K just happened, and I'm over the "thank God I'm still alive" phase. Now I'm just into the pissed off "bloody hell this is going to cost me an arm and a leg, why do I have such shit luck with cars?! *whinge whinge whinge*" stage
A couple of thoughts:
- Gotta love the hippie-looking couple that checked on the kangaroo before me. Way to prioritise guys! And no I didn't kill a tree too.
- Any second later and the kangaroo would've directly hit the side of my car. With me going at 60-70km/h......
- Had I been going at the speed limit (as opposed to being going 10 under due to traffic) I would've been long ahead before the kangaroo hopped onto the road to hit me. And they say speed is supposed to bad...
- Fark, how scary was that?!
- Watching a dying kangaroo die a slow and painful death is not fun :(
I'll find out tomorrow whether or not the car is a write off. I hope not. One, because I love my car! and two, despite being two and a half grand out of pocket no matter what happens now, the new car that I can buy with the money left over will be shite...at least not as good as the '96 Lancer I had.
Wait and see... Either way, here comes at least two weeks of juggling cars with the rest of the family.
