The following people need multiple slaps to the face and a good re-thinking of their lives:
- Pre-teens and barely-teens wearing mini skirts and tops so small they are practically walking, talking porno films, when it's ridiculously cold outside and they're waiting in a long cue to get into a pub or club. Then they ask the closest male friend if they can borrow their jacket or coat. Ha! If they asked me for mine I'd burn it with a lighter right in front of them just to see their priceless faces.
- Most people living in Frankston.
- Fully sick bros that wind down their windows and pump the bass as they cruise down Chaps, when their bass is really, really horrible. If you're gonna do it, at least get a subwoofer you idiots.
- That lady that sued some person because she tripped over their stairs whilst trespassing through their property. Maybe I should sue her for breathing in air and causing more carbon dioxide which contributes to global warming, and hence makes me anxious that the apocalypse is drawing nearer, thus giving me eczema.
- All judges of performing arts reality shows. ie. Australian Idol, So You Can Dance, Australia's Got Talent etc.
- Everyone who participates in those shows.
- The people behind all those penis erection/impotence/premature ejaculation problem ads. Someone should rip their testicles off and go, "look who has a problem now ma boy!?"
- The lady that complained about having to wait because I was only five minutes behind schedule at the clinic. Here's a tip love: NEVER piss off a physiotherapist who is about to give you pain.
- The people behind making those Bratz dolls. Why don't you just make colouring books for 2nd grader girls that make a nice "IT'S OK TO BE A SLUT WHORE" message when you colour it in? It'll save you the plastic and the material for the clothing.
